to quit

First: My inclination is to treat this blog as a medium for publishing refined ideas. But I don't have many refined ideas now, so until I do I'll just post my rough thoughts.

Now...

to Quit

I quit my job last Wednesday. I was climbing a mountain path and came upon a steep, cold, rocky section. Every step took tremendous effort. New aches and bruises and cuts appeared quickly. I did not enjoy it. I know that the trail will remain this taxing for several miles. As I labor forward I think, 'Why am I climbing? Is the act of climbing rewarding? What is at the top of this mountain? Is it worth this struggle? Does this path even lead to the top?'
I ponder these questions for some time. I don't enjoy this steep climb. I'm not sure I'm even making progress. There's a fair chance that there is nothing on the other side of this section. Then I notice that one step off the path the terrain is easy and full of potential. I see no real path, but there are many shadows that call to me. An entire world of opportunity is there just off the path - though it remains in the dark. The way would not always be clear, but the way would always be my own.

I also see that leaving the path leaves me with no way back to it. To step off would be to never know what reward or what suffering I had abandoned. Either great success or painful drudgery lay before me but I remain blind and cannot know which. I must gamble. At stake: my spirit. It will be smothered by the crags ahead or it will roam free in the wilderness.

My choice became clear. I am dying; why should I spend one minute discontent? Why struggle on an unknown path when so many paths are open and exciting? I have not surrendered to the mountain; I still enjoy a good climb. But there are many mountains and many paths. Climb or explore - follow your spirit.